Monday, 16 July 2012
Since the start of 2012 I've felt there's restlessness and change in the air; or at least people expressing the desire to change; to do something new... Maybe it’s just because of my age (thirty two – how did that happen?), but I seem to know a large proportion of people having babies this year, moving on, moving away, getting married, changing jobs, returning to education...
I’ve definitely experienced a sense of restlessness, with a bigger desire to try new things and step out of my comfort zone. As a ‘fixed’ Taurean, (if you believe in all that astrology nonsense), I think I do sometimes have the tendency to cling onto security and bury my head in sameness for a bit too long, before I realise that I need a kick up the bum and that it’s time to shake things up a bit. As I’m sitting typing this, a quote on a bag across from me just caught my eye: ‘Do one thing a day that SCARES YOU.’ I also just recently read a quote someone had posted on Facebook that resonated with me; ‘Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive about what could go right.’
How many times have you stayed in a situation that you know is no longer right for you, or not grabbed an opportunity, because your fear manages to persuade you that the change will be a disaster? Sometimes it might be, but most of the time if you have a nagging feeling (usually your intuition) telling you to go or it, no matter how difficult that ‘different’ might be, it’s probably the right thing to do.
I’ve realised that I sometimes have a ‘fear’ of writing...that a project I’m working on can seem so daunting or ‘good’ in my head, that I’m afraid that if I start trying to put it down on paper it will fall apart. I think that’s probably the perfectionist control freak in me that is causing that doubt. I’m interested to know though if any other writers also feel this fear?
A writer I enjoy reading when I experience that block, is Jack Kerouac. There’s something about his free style of writing (and endless rambling sentences which seem to break the rules of all punctuation), that makes me realise I should just switch off my rational mind, and let the words flow...
In the past few weeks I’ve put myself forward for opportunities (one relating to writing, the other also sort of related to writing). Whether or not I get anywhere with them, the fact I’m attempting to put myself/my work out there, makes me feel like I’m taking a step towards a positive change. Yesterday I found out a story I entered for a competition got an honourable mention, so that was a tiny boost of encouragement.
Now I’m off to sign up for that sky diving lesson (That’s a joke, not quite ready for that yet, Lorna...)