The Writer's Journey...and why it should be a personal one

 

 

If you’ve ever read a writing magazine, or friended writers on social media, then it’s fairly easy to gain an insight into the writing world and all that entails. When I catch glimpses of other published authors posting constant updates about round-the-country book tours, school visits, library talks, multiple launches, multiple guest posts, tv appearances, the #amwriting hashtags announcing that another 5,000 words are complete, I get a little bit anxious (and envious) about being tied to a full time 9-5 day job. I always like a challenge, but I know it won’t be possible for me to be able to engage in the same level of activity as some writers, at such a constant pace.

A friend said something to me the other week which resonated with me – ‘Don’t focus too much on what other people are doing. Remember this is your own unique journey, so just focus on that’.

The same friend let me read an article in Mslexia magazine (Issue 66) titled, ‘Don’t give up the day job’, by Naomi Elster. This article upset my friend a bit due to the fact she had given up her own full time job to pursue creative projects and it made her feel a bit guilty.

I have to admit when I first started to read the article, I felt an element of relief – here’s a writer I can relate to, she understands the challenges which come from working a full time ‘day job’ and writing. But I stopped identifying with her pretty soon into the article and actually started to get quite annoyed. She wrote her piece in reaction to articles from other writers who believed, ‘You can’t write if you have to work too.’ Seeing as I’m living proof, (along with millions of other writers), that yes you can, I’m not disagreeing with the premise of her article. However, what she went on to do, in my opinion, was insult and condescend the writers who have given up the ‘day job’, as well as devalue the writing profession.  Her line, ‘We live in a world with very real problems, problems that can’t be cured with an appropriate sonnet’ seemed quite disparaging. It made me think, but imagine the world we would live in if the creative arts didn’t exist? Books can be powerful, educational and magical and provide many with a very important escape from their repressed and limiting worlds.

The article continues with lines such as , ‘I doubt that any writer who isolates herself in the proverbial ivory tower will ever create stories and characters that anyone else can engage with- apart from another isolated writer, that is.’ This made me wonder ~ does she have an imagination- is she creative? If I gave up my ‘day job’ tomorrow I certainly wouldn’t be sitting in a ‘tower’ locking myself away from the world all day long, but even if I did, I know my imagination would conjure up some three dimensional ideas for me. And a lot of the time, if I’m in the middle of an intense piece of writing, isolation from distractions is necessary. An ivory tower would come in rather handy…

She implies that working a ‘day job’ is the only way to really live and experience ‘real life’. No, it’s not – being employed by a company means being restricted to a 9-5 (or set hours), often getting bogged down with repetitive tasks and surroundings. Don’t get me wrong, at times my job can be varied and interesting– I’m in a client facing job so I get to interact with new people every day, but elements of my job definitely drain my energy and stifle my creativity. I do like the routine of a job,(though would prefer a more part time routine!), and get fulfilment from it, but I have a much more fascinating and enjoyable time outside of work.

This writer then goes on to talk about how she had to spend a lot of time at home during long term sick leave, saying, ‘When I did venture out the house, the only people not at work were a handful of self-styled artistes who were permanently unemployed, by choice, and seemed determined to be misunderstood’.  She doesn’t stop there but goes on to say, ‘(I)…found myself writing affected pretentious prose in a voice that didn’t suit me…’ (Implying this was due to hanging around with these artistes and attending too many spoken-word events). A helpful friend then told her, ‘Your writing just isn’t accessible anymore.’ She doesn’t specify why she was on sick leave, but I found this a poor example of visualising what life would be like if she didn’t have a ‘day job’. Physical or mental illness would clearly drain your energy levels, so few would be able to write anything worthwhile during that time.  I've also hung out with some great, inspiring writers who treat their writing as a profession by day, and by night, and certainly don't act like misunderstood 'artistes'.

As you can probably tell this article provoked a strong reaction in me. This has made me even more acutely aware about how important it is for writers to focus on their own journeys and what works for them. As this writer is in a similar situation to me I thought she would be able to offer me some invaluable insight and advice into managing a busy life. Instead, it just made me realise how we are all very different in our approaches and that it can be wrong to categorise writers as those who have a supplementary ‘day job’, and those who don’t, as ‘work’ and responsibilities come in many different forms.

What is a good plan for you, won’t necessarily work (or be possible) for me, and that is ok. It’s still nice for writers to share advice and tips, (and I’ll certainly be picking brains on promotional aspects), but when any aspect of ‘advice’ starts to feel like pressure or judgement, I’m going to make a conscious effort to tune out. And that applies to the pressures I tend to put on myself too!

Tune out, and write on...

Living Fearlessly

Last week myself and two friends went along to a meditation talk titled 'Living Fearlessly' which was led by a resident teacher, (Kadam Morten Clausen), of the New York Kadampa Meditation Centre. Kadam, like all of the Buddhists I've encountered (which isn't many), emanated a sense of calm and joy and led us through an insightful hour and a half's talk and guided meditation.

The talk centred around the Buddhist teachings of  Kelsang Gyatso - at the heart of which is the simple philosophy that true happiness occurs when we feel at peace within ourselves. A lot of the philosophy I had heard before at the few meditation classes I have attended at the Glasgow Kadampa Centre (which I've also made reference to on here before), but the more you hear the simplicity of the philosophy, the more you do realise how much we tend to let our negative (or panicked) thoughts get a bit too loud.  Even if you're a positive, upbeat person most of the time, we all have an abundance of moments which make us over-analyse, along the lines of: 'but what if that were to happen' 'why is this happening???' or the torment of, 'if only I had that/did that/achieved that/they noticed me,' I know I'd be truly happy.

I can't even begin to capture half of what this Buddhist teacher said on here because it always sounds too basic when I attempt to explain it. I think the thing which resonated the most with me was when he kept saying the words, 'We need to learn to let go'. As in, let go of everything you believe will make you happy - external goals, the reliance on others to achieve your happiness. And accept that everything which has a beginning, also has an end (scary, but that's ok).

He said Buddhists like to recognise the truth -that trying to control your external world, which is always going to be in a constant flux of change, is a bit of an impossibility and shouldn't really be your focus. If you let go of that idea of control, then you can free yourself from a lot of anxiety and fear. The focus, they believe, should be on striving to have a happy and calm mind - an inner peace (so that when bad things do happen you have the strength within to deal with it), which is why they practice meditation.
I'm rubbish at trying to meditate myself at home, but I really get into the guided meditation (sometimes too much, nearly dozing off. My friend nearly fell asleep at this one - Hi Rebecca!).

I'm not saying I agree with everything that was said, but it certainly made me think, and made me want to write this post as I know a lot of people who have had a bit of a rollercoaster of a 2015 (sometimes in a bad way, sometimes in an exciting way).

I also had the chance to talk to an ordained Buddhist Monk afterwards and he very kindly answered my nosy question, 'So what exactly does your day to day involve?' (This guy leads the Glasgow meditations and always looks so happy and has the most calming presence ever). His day looks like this: Get up early - meditate, study meditation, eat lunch, teach meditation, study some more, teach mediation, take a turn cooking dinner within a shared house of Buddhists, maybe socialise, then meditate before bed.

The simplicity of his life wouldn't be for everyone, (I know I'd love it for a few weeks, then probably get bored), but it did make me wonder: Do we all follow a more complicated path than we need to, just because society has brain washed us into thinking it's normal? I sometimes worry about that, that we've all lost our so called 'free will' somewhere along the way because we're constantly being fed messages of what we think we need and what we think we want.

I'm going to finish this post with an image I came across a while ago, which I really like, and which I think is fitting for this post. Night all!

Keeping it (un)real

About time I did another update on here! There has been some progress on the book front since I last posted. You can now see a 'Coming Soon' blurb for Follow Me on my publisher's website: http://www.stridentpublishing.co.uk/coming-soon/ This makes it all feel very real!!

I'm writing under my full name, Victoria, as I don't want there to be any mix ups with the erotic writer Nikki Gemmell. Plus, people always spell Vikki wrong. And it's also kind of nice using my full name for a change.

As the publication date draws ever nearer, there has been a mix of putting on my 'edits' and sensible 'business' hats- thinking about promotional things, filling out applications to become part of an author database (which I'll post about when my profile goes live).
And then the fun parts, where I get to immerse myself in more creativity - putting together  my author website, Pinterest board and Instagram page. (If you click on those titles it will take you to my pages).

I'm a very visual writer and I've had fun searching for photos on Pinterest, (and also taking my own photos and putting together collages), to pin to my board and Instagram pages. This gives you a glimpse into how I visualise parts of 'the Barn' to look (the underground hangout place in my book) and other aspects of my story.

The challenge at the moment is switching between my day-job brain, up-and-coming publication excitement, and maintaining a focus on newer pieces of writing. I was thinking the other weekend that it's important to leave some time aside to just daydream- let your mind go on a wander whilst you listen to some music, draw something, read something, have some inspiring conversation, visit new places...

Sometimes if I have a quiet moment at the weekend I like to visit a café and a friend mentioned spotting a place called Mad Hatter's. When you look at the title of my blog it isn't hard to guess that this might be a café I'd want to visit... It was a great little place to take some time out and drink hot chocolate (which was VERY good!). I loved their Alice In Wonderland tea pots. The next time I'm in I'll have to get some photos. This is their facebook page here

Happy daydreaming!

Dreaming that Dream

Once again it's been a while since I've blogged but I think I've got a pretty good excuse this time for my absence. The past couple of months have been a bit of a whirlwind thanks to an exciting chat with a publisher one evening, then an exciting email, and then an even more exciting meeting where I heard the words, "So I loved your book, and I'd like to publish it."

It's hard to describe how that felt, hearing those words. Knowing that my book will be gracing the shelves of book shops (and libraries) and that I can sit it on my own shelf, alongside some of my favourite authors, all feels a bit surreal just now. I found the photo (above) and thought I should use it for this post. You might be able to see my reflection - I thought as I was taking the photo this was kind of cool, like it made me look as if I was a part of the library, inside the books. Books have always been such as big part of my life- it seemed appropriate.

Becoming a published author has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember, and there have been many times over the past few months in particular I've wondered how many more 'nearly theres' can I take. But for writers who are reading this and are still waiting for their big break my words to you today are, 'Don't give up! Keep going.' It might sound like a cliche, but you really don't know what is around the corner.

And also trust your instincts. I'm delighted my Young Adult novel Follow Me is going to be published by Strident Publishing, a Scottish publisher. When I first finished my book a few years ago I thought this publisher would be a good match for my work, but circumstances didn't make this possible until recently. This was also a lesson in seizing an opportunity and having the guts to pitch my work face to face. If you suddenly find yourself in a room with the publisher you want to be with, then make sure you talk to them!!


Working with an independent publisher has been fantastic so far - the personal touch and approachable nature has made everything feel very much like a team approach. I can't wait for my book to come out in October.

I'm sitting listening to a random music mix on my computer as I type this post and appropriately one of the songs I class as the 'soundtrack' to this book has just clicked on. (Which is Dots and Dashes by the Silversun Pickups if you want to know!). Any time I listen to songs like this, it takes me back to the nights I was immersed in getting the story down.

From the word go I loved writing this book, and that's what I'm always going to remember. Nothing beats the excitement of creating a story which demands to be told!

Your mountain is waiting

I've been quiet on the blogging front of late due to life taking over a bit. Many a weekend has been spent getting stuck into a long overdue clear out and I have also been contemplating a long overdue change. I find big changes quite stressful, though usually I get to the stage where I recognise they’re necessary and then start to see the positives and potential excitement. 

I was delivering some training at work last week which drew me into interesting conversations and discoveries (ones which tie in quite well with my blog post from December, 'Thinking Things Over', where I referred to a meditation class I went to). The training explored some coaching methods and techniques, and my training partner shared her experience of a recent Neuro Linguistic Programming course she had been on.

I find the idea of NLP interesting – it focuses on how we can learn to control our thoughts, and in doing so can free ourselves from negative thinking. A great book she recommended is,‘How to take charge of your life: The Users Guide to NLP’ by Richard Bandler,(the co-creator of NLP), Alessio Roberti and Owen Fitzpatrick. Some of the quotes from this really got me thinking. 

In my job I work with clients who sometimes hold themselves back with limiting beliefs, and really I think we’re all guilty of that to some extent. I know how many opportunities I’ve missed out on due to self-doubt and it’s something I still struggle with in some aspects of my life. 

A couple of my favourite quotes from the book were: 

Believe that you can achieve what you want, and you will set yourself free to achieve it

And:

Our biggest limit is not in what we want and cannot do; it is in what we have never considered that we can do 

On my way home on the train on Monday I looked up at one of the stops and noticed a poster on the railings, (which I think was part of an art project). I didn’t have time to absorb the full picture but what I caught was an image of the word ‘Worry’ on the left hand side, changing into the words ‘Things got Better’ and underneath it said something along the lines of, ‘Take control of your thoughts and change your world.’ It was strange noticing this the day after I just finished the NLP book but there’s a theory that our brains also seek out what we want to find. So maybe these are all messages I need to hear just now, and at the end of the NLP book the authors encourage anyone who reads it to share their messages, which I guess is partly why I’m posting about this, because maybe these are things you need to hear too. 

The title of my post is inspired by a Dr Seuss book, ‘Oh, the places you’ll go.’ Twice in the past week I’ve seen a reference to this book and it’s one I personally love. A work colleague once gave it to me as a parting gift many years ago and I think it’s very uplifting and inspiring. 

I’ll leave you with Dr S’s parting words: ‘Your mountain is waiting, So…get on your way!'

Direction

Seeing as this is my first post of 2015 I'll start by wishing you all a Happy New Year! I hope you've set yourself lots of attainable goals, and abandoned the not so attainable ones, with much enthusiasm...

As part of my Christmas my Mum got me a 'Writing Map', (from the Write Around Town series - see Writingmaps.com ).
The theme of mine is 'My Writing Life'. This is one type of map that won't bring me out in a cold sweat - I'm pretty hopeless at reading regular maps and also have a terrible sense of direction. A lot of my wandering is aided by instinct (and google streetview), and I guess when it comes to my writing 'instinct' is what often sets me off in the right direction a lot of the time too...

Within this map are lots of questions and tasks. One of the questions is 'What does writing mean to you?'. And I've been pondering this for a while now. What does writing mean to me? For me, writing feels part of who I am. From a very young age it's what I spent a lot of time doing - writing stories, drawing silly pictures to go along with them, writing ridiculous angst ridden journals from about the age of eleven right through to my late teens, and sometimes throughout my twenties and even now into my thirties...( I like to think I've dropped the angst and have now moved into depths of philosophising about life). My observation journal from last year actually provided a lot of new story ideas.
Writing is what keeps me sane, and connected to a deeper part of my brain that even I don't understand.
I was having a conversation with a friend once, describing moments in life where I've gone for weeks, (or longer), without writing anything and how it feels kind of horrible, like 'I'm missing a feeling'.  So for me, writing is keeping that 'feeling' alive and having fun creating characters and worlds where I get to choose the ending. (But actually, if the writing is going well, more often than not your characters choose that for you.)

Another question within this map is 'What Inspires You?'  I've touched upon this topic in many a blog post, but I was thinking about this question on my walk home today and when I looked up at a clock tower I regularly pass by I noticed that the hands on one of the clock faces were missing. (I'm guessing the high winds probably blew them away, or damaged them badly enough for them to be taken off).
Without the hands, the clock face looks so different - blank and eerily naked. It made me think how fragile time is - how it can be easily altered or stopped by uncontrollable events and how that change can transform the face of everything. And that train of thought reminded me again how little observations like this have the potential to inspire lots of ideas.
News stories and interesting articles also spark off ideas for me. Life is stranger than fiction when you read what some people get up to...
Reading about life, and living life - these are key inspirations.
And great storytellers - they're the most important inspiration for me. Closing the last page of a great book always ignites that fire inside of me; the desire to be able to write a story half as good as the one I just read keeps me writing, and keeps me learning!

How about you?

Thinking Things Over

A few weeks ago I finally visited the Kadampa Meditation Centre in Glasgow (I'm saying finally as I've been saying for months I was going to go!). I went along to a thirty minute lunchtime meditation class with a friend and it was a really uplifting and relaxing experience. As soon as I stepped inside the centre I felt a sense of calm- a welcome contrast to the rush of the city outside. It was the first time I’d ever been to a meditation class so I wasn’t sure what to expect.

This particular centre offers guided Buddhist meditation, so the session was led by a Buddhist. He had a very calming voice and manner which helped me to focus on the breathing techniques. (once I’d tuned out the distraction of the woman near me who kept moving around in her squeaky chair!). I was able to sink into a deep state of relaxation but wasn't completely successful with silencing my mind....although by the second breathing exercise I was definitely getting there.

During the session our facilitator talked about confidence and how most of us will struggle with low self-esteem at times, due to holding onto a false sense of confidence where we place too much focus on external things- like our looks, our intelligence, our talents or relationships. If any of these things change or are threatened, our self-esteem suffers. He talked about how we should aim to seek confidence within ourselves and recognise that our feelings and thoughts dictate a lot. If we learn to control our mind and rid it of negativity it gives us control of any situation.

His message that we can’t control external things which happen, but ultimately have the power to change our feelings and our minds, (and how we approach situations), was very simple but powerful. He articulated it in a much better way than I’m attempting here, and he also illustrated what he was saying with a couple of stories. The whole experience was rather uplifting and a nice time out from the 'every day'. One of the tasks on that old Fifty Things list of mine , (you can find info on that in my blog archives!), was to sign up to a class – this will be my ‘class’ and I plan to return to more regular sessions in the new year.

For a while I’ve been thinking about the power of our thoughts. Last year I subscribed to something called Notes from the Universe (Truly Unique Thoughts at www.tut.com). I get a daily email with a motivating or insightful message along the lines of, ‘It’s not knowing what the answer or solution is…but simply knowing that there is one, which brings it forth.’ The tagline of the site is ‘Thoughts Become Things’. It might sound really cheesy, and I signed up mostly for a bit of fun, but it does sometimes take me by surprise how applicable a message can be on certain days!

A few weeks after the mediation session a couple of people on separate occasions asked me if I’d ever read the book ‘The Secret’. I’d read about it, and had a good understanding of parts of it thanks to magazine articles, but had never read the whole book. I started to get curious, so downloaded it to my kindle and read it in two days on my commute to and from work.

The book talks about ‘The Law of Attraction’ and the power of positive thought attracting good things into your life. I agree with a lot of the concepts in the book, (the power of positive thought and positive visualisation), but for me there was a lack of recognition that to take true control of your life you also need to take action, put some work in, and plan things…not just sit back and visualise, hoping the universe will bring things to you.

On dark winter days it’s also quite a challenge to maintain a sunny disposition… but it has sparked off a lot of thinking about future goals. Some of my favourite parts of the book were the references to Einstein – I need to sit down and read his theories properly one day because every time I read snippets of them I want to know more. Like his theory that time is an illusion and everything is happening simultaneously, leads the author of the book to speculate: ‘If everything is happening at the one time, then the parallel version of you with what you want already exists’. So whatever you want in the future already exists…

All of this is getting a bit too deep for a Tuesday night so I’m going to sign off with a link to a really interesting Japanese Positive Thinking experiment, (The Rice Experiment), conducted by a researcher and alternative healer from Japan, Masaru Emoto. His experiments demonstrate that human thoughts and intentions can actually alter physical reality. The results of the Rice Experiment are fascinating!! Read about it here