Monday 16 July 2012

Change


Since the start of 2012 I've felt there's restlessness and change in the air; or at least people expressing the desire to change; to do something new... Maybe it’s just because of my age (thirty two – how did that happen?), but I seem to know a large proportion of people having babies this year, moving on, moving away, getting married, changing jobs, returning to education...

I’ve definitely experienced a sense of restlessness, with a bigger desire to try new things and step out of my comfort zone. As a ‘fixed’ Taurean, (if you believe in all that astrology nonsense), I think I do sometimes have the tendency to cling onto security and bury my head in sameness for a bit too long, before I realise that I need a kick up the bum and that it’s time to shake things up a bit. As I’m sitting typing this, a quote on a bag across from me just caught my eye: ‘Do one thing a day that SCARES YOU.’ I also just recently read a quote someone had posted on Facebook that resonated with me; ‘Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive about what could go right.’

How many times have you stayed in a situation that you know is no longer right for you, or not grabbed an opportunity, because your fear manages to persuade you that the change will be a disaster? Sometimes it might be, but most of the time if you have a nagging feeling (usually your intuition) telling you to go or it, no matter how difficult that ‘different’ might be, it’s probably the right thing to do.

I’ve realised that I sometimes have a ‘fear’ of writing...that a project I’m working on can seem so daunting or ‘good’ in my head, that I’m afraid that if I start trying to put it down on paper it will fall apart. I think that’s probably the perfectionist control freak in me that is causing that doubt. I’m interested to know though if any other writers also feel this fear?

A writer I enjoy reading when I experience that block, is Jack Kerouac. There’s something about his free style of writing (and endless rambling sentences which seem to break the rules of all punctuation), that makes me realise I should just switch off my rational mind, and let the words flow...

In the past few weeks I’ve put myself forward for opportunities (one relating to writing, the other also sort of related to writing). Whether or not I get anywhere with them, the fact I’m attempting to put myself/my work out there, makes me feel like I’m taking a step towards a positive change. Yesterday I found out a story I entered for a competition got an honourable mention, so that was a tiny boost of encouragement.

Now I’m off to sign up for that sky diving lesson (That’s a joke, not quite ready for that yet, Lorna...)




9 comments:

  1. Rebecca Johnstone16 July 2012 at 13:39

    Brilliant Vicki! I think you're totally right about the fear factor sometimes holding you back (the general 'you', not actually you). I also have ideas for new projects, and sometimes hold off in case I 'spoil' them. It could be sewing or writing, but the actual process of starting a piece of work can be daunting for many reasons.

    'Just do it' must be our new mantra:) Good luck with your opportunities, and big congrats on the 'honourable mention'! xx

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  2. Thanks for dropping by, Rebecca! Glad I'm not the only one who feels that way about starting new projects:) And yes, I'm liking that mantra 'Just do it'...

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  3. I feel fear at times of impending change. It's often easier to stay with comfortable things. But it's also hard to ignore that restless feeling. It's usually a sign that it's time to look in a new direction and see what's there.
    Sometimes I just change the furniture around. But sometimes a bigger change is needed. And I think more is achieved by veering off the beaten track for a while to see if it brings rewards than by resisting the urge and later regretting the lost opportunity.

    With writing, I have definitely had more success with the riskier projects than with the safer ones. That's not to say all the braver stuff has succeeded. But I'm often surprised and delighted by the response it gets. And, even if nothing much happens, I enjoy the excitement of doing something bolder that moves me out of the cosy groove it's so easy to slide into.

    We can always come back to where we feel safe. But it's good to take a step or two away from it sometimes. It certainly can't do any harm and helps us develop as writers.

    Fabulous post, Vikki. Good luck with the next steps.

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    1. Thanks for that Joanna! I definitely think taking risks with writing is worth it and I loved your statement, 'We can always come back to where we feel safe'

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  4. Excellent post, Vikki - and, yes, we probably all experience that fear and doubt that holds us back from achieving so much more. I even have feared success sometimes, which seems a bit daft! Anyway, I do hope your new ventures will bring their own rewards.

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    1. Thanks, Mum. I think you need to get over your fear of success and just embrace it:)

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  5. Interesting post, Vikki, and one that I'm sure most people can relate to. As a Virgo, I tend also to be a perfectionist, and I do think it interferes with the creative flow. Well done on the honourable mention - take heart from it.

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  6. Thanks, Joan! I suppose the up-side of being a perfectionist is that it can be a motivator to write, then write some more until you write the best you can!

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  7. Interesting post,Vikki.It's important not too worry too much about any failures -apart from the sky diving of course!Everything we do is a learning opportunity.

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